SAN DIEGO -- Two spiders were pronounced dead at the scene today during a mass arachnicide attempt. Names have not been released, but the official cause of death is being reported as massive head and leg trauma from a journey through a vacuum hose. Also during the mass raid, .0000000003 acres of prime spider habitat were completely obliterated, primarily in the corners of the ceiling and along the spiderweb ridge between the ceiling and the tops of the walls. No suspects have been found, though local environmental groups are up in arms.
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People who know me well know of my fear/loathing of spiders. When I moved to Seattle, I was amazed at the number of spiders that would find their way into my house. Now that I am in San Diego, I've noticed this isn't just Seattle's problem. Granted, I am currently living in a house that, for the most part, lacks traditional electric-powered lights. There certainly aren't any in the ceilings, and what few there are scattered around the house do little to illuminate those dark corners that spiders seem to enjoy most. So tonight, after seeing two live daddy-long-legs-ish spiders in my bedroom, I took it upon myself to do a mass purge. I fear that the spiders will get their revenge, but I needed to do it.
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